Popular Opinion Saves Me From A BIG Mistake: BLAIR WITCH


I loved the original THE BLAIR WITCH PROJECT. I didn’t like BOOK OF SHADOWS. I was reluctant to watch BLAIR WITCH, but watched it anyway.

It has some really dumb shit in it–I almost threw something at the screen during the tree-climbing scene–but “dumb” goes with “horror movies” like “dumbass” goes with “comedy movies”–you aren’t going to get very far if everyone acts logically. I also thought the Spielbergian car headlights in one scene pointless.

Anyway, I just found out the movie has a low score on Rotten Tomatoes. I watched a couple of reviews for this, and learned all the dumb stuff in it–the supernatural force isn’t explained, the cameras don’t make sense, the P.O.V. is confusing or something–and, to my relief, I saw I was wrong about it. Turns out it WASN’T a slow-building first half and a tense, effed-up second half, but something I COULDN’T like because of all the illogical stuff in it!

WHEW! What a relief! Now I don’t have to explain why I liked it!

It’s kind of fun listening to people bitch and whine about the technical aspects of this–who gives a shit about the camera or the Blue Tooth or the lack of correct behavior by people who are losing their shit when dealing with supernatural beings in the woods?–but ultimately a waste of time.

People claim they don’t care what critics think. Most of these people are film critics online, since everyone is these days. So they are putting out their opinions on movies while claiming they don’t listen to critics. Who are they putting out these reviews for–people who’re so stupid they actually pay attention to critics?

There you have it: I turned off the acclaimed I SAW THE DEVIL, but enjoyed the dumb but fun BLAIR WITCH. Good thing you’re not listening to me! Rotten Tomatoes will tell you what to watch, even though it’s a collection of critics no one pays attention to, though they point to the “fresh” rating for some reason…

This is getting too meta for me. Good thing I don’t write reviews.

Shut up, I didn’t like you! Right?